Vintage ads are a window into the past. A sometimes horrifying window. Here is another round of vintage ads guaranteed to shock your senses.

Vintage ads are known for being offensive and misogynistic. Not to mention terrifying. These photos are definitely little gems of history that you’d never see advertised these days and for good reason!

If looking at these advertisements don’t make you scratch your head and wonder what the Mad Men of 1960’s were thinking – we don’t know what will! Here are 11 blasts from the past ads.

Her Gray Hair Cost Her Her Job!

Little did she know in 60 years she’s be considered in style. This vintage ad shows you never know what trends will make you popular.

Men Hate Skinny Women

 

 

You’re too skinny, too fat, not fat enough, too blonde, too made-up and too natural looking! That’s the plight of the everywoman. Somehow it’s comforting to know they’ve been dealing with it for literal centuries. Bottom line? Women these days would not have this problem with their men.

That’s What a Wife is For!

What else is a wife good for, really?

Santa and his Smokes

Who knew Santa was a smoker? Maybe that’s why he has such a husky voice! Apparently, the 1950s was the perfect branding opportunity for Santa to convince little kids to take up a debilitating smoking habit.

Smirnoff’s strange Vintage Ads

Let’s be honest. Sometimes this ad still applies.

The Walking Sauna

This sauna exercise suit is great for the girl on the go who wants to sweat all day. This “weight loss” gadget is supposed to increase your body heat, thereby allowing you to shed unwanted pounds while you do your wifely duties. Like laundry. One thing is for sure. At $6.95, this weird space suit is a steal!

Buff away that Double Chin

Want to shed some extra pounds? Forget healthy diets and exercising regularly. All you need is this chin-reducer and beautifier! This terrifying contraption is said to both prevent and efface double chins.

Blow Up Boobs

Is there anything to say? This vintage ad shows that you don’t need to go under the knife to get the chest you always dreamed of. All you have to do is blow!

Want a better option? Come check out our Rockabilly Bikinis instead!

Sugar Keeps Your Appetite Down

There is not enough time to describe what is wrong with this vintage ad, but here’s a quick attempt. Sugar contains no essential nutrients, is bad for your teeth, bad for your liver, can cause insulin resistance, and has fat-promoting effects. What’s more, the more you eat sugar the more you crave it.

Definitely a fan of nibbling on a cookie before lunch, however.

Girls Who Don’t Read

Agreed entirely.

Father and Son Underwear Party

This vintage ad features a father in son sharing a moment as they chat about their tightie-whities. Dad’s give him just the right sort of mild support, don’t ya know.